Confessions

I haven't been working out.

I haven't been eating too healthy, either.

Today I had In-n-Out burger for lunch (with a chocolate milkshake, of course!)

I'm also addicted to Werther's original hard candies.

I haven't weighed in 2 weeks, too.

On My Own

It's hard being good.

It's hard finding time to work out.

It's hard to eat healthy, when everyone around you isn't.

But! I have purchased a whole bunch of those SmartOnes and Healthy Choice low-cal meals.  I had one for dinner tonight.  It was good, and only 350 calories.  YAY!

Of course, the 4 pink Lofthouse cookies and the piece of chocolate cake I had throughout the day didn't help.

But, I did eat a salad at the Corner Bakery Cafe in SLC for lunch.  And it wasn't the big salad.  It was the "cafe" size (small).  It was yummy.

So, I'm going to try to be good with the food.  Once the cookies and the cake are gone, that's it.

I do need to focus more on finding the time to workout.  I'm thinking about starting up on Turbo Jam again.  I really would like to do P90X, but I'm so not in good enough shape to even attempt that!  So, I think starting with Turbo Jam might be a good choice.  Hopefully I'll be able to get some workouts in this week. *fingers crossed*

Announcement

I've decided to cut this round short.  yes, instead of going the full 49 days, I will only be doing 23.  This is a good thing.  I plan on jumping right into some different workouts.  We have a couple of new gyms in our area, and neither of them require contracts, so I'm hoping to give them a shot.  We'll see.  I may just stay home and workout there.  But, this is definitely a good thing.  Life is just so busy, even with a schedule, that I am struggling to stay on the diet.  Finding the time to prepare the special food (and the money to buy the special food) is becoming harder as the holiday season approaches earlier than I anticipated.  But, like I said, I'm good with this.  I've lost about 8 lbs, so it's definitely a good jump start to my weight loss goal.  :)

Progress

Okay, so I know I promised an update yesterday, but yesterday was a really BAD day.  And I cheated.  But like I said: it was a really bad day.

So, here's the progress so far:  total lost: 8 lbs.  Not as good as I would have hoped, but it is my 3rd round and I am starting lower than my first good round (a little higher than my 2nd round, but the same weight that I ended after cheating that whole 40 days).  I haven't lost any weight for 3 days, but that's okay.  I have lost a few inches total, but not a big enough difference to start jumping up and down.  I'm hoping for some better progress next week.

I'm debating whether or not I want to only do 23 days now, or the full 49.  I haven't filled all of my needles yet, and I really think that maybe this would be a good, quick jump start and then I could work out and eat diet-y food without being so strict.  I don't know.  Hubs wants me to do the full 49 days.  I guess we'll see what happens.  I still have a week to decide.

Caution: This post may be full of whining. Read at your own discretion!

It's hot.

And my swamp cooler is broken.

And my apartment faces west, so it's really, REALLY, REALLY hot anytime between 11 AM and 8:30 PM.

Also, it's Sunday.  Church was hot.  The walk to and from church was hot.  And now I'm stuck at home, where it's....  Ready for this?  HOT!

I recall freezing my first two rounds of HCG.  I'm wondering why it is that I am melting in this sweltering heat now.  My SIL did HCG in July, when we went on family vacation up to Park City.  She wore a sweater down to the pool while the rest of us were content in our bathing suits and towels.  Yeah, I sure would appreciate being that cold right about now. 

I'm so hot that I'm half tempted to get in my hot car and drive to Walmart where I will then become the freak who gets stuck in the ice cream display.  Yeah, that'll be me.  When you see it on the news you can say, "Hey! That's the chick with the HCG blog that I read!"  (Yes, all two of you!  I know I'll be famous!)

Also, I'm not nearly as tired as I was my first two rounds.  I thought I was going to be exhausted this time around, too, but I just saw a spider on the ceiling and I have never gotten my butt up off the couch faster.

I also just remembered that my DH brought one of our upstairs fans downstairs into the kitchen to blow the smoke outside from when I burned dinner last Tuesday.  It never made it back upstairs.  Yeah, guess who's smart?  I am now sitting in the lap of luxury on my couch.  That's right. The fan is blowing on me.

Okay, so one problem solved, I guess.

But the other problem remains:  I am STARVING!  And frustrated.  I ate 3.5 lbs of fish last week, and only lost a couple of pounds.

Okay, okay, so I cheated Monday. And Tuesday. And a little bit Wednesday. And maybe Thursday and Friday. Okay, I confess, I had a PBJ sandy on Saturday. But still!  I only cheated a little at dinner time, and the rest of the day I was good!  Besides, fish doesn't even have that many calories!  I was probably well under my 500 calories before I cheated.

Fine, I know.  I shouldn't be cheating.  It's just so dang tempting.  Those stupid PBJ sandwiches that my 3 y.o. loves so much.  They are so enticing.  I had to make myself one...or four....just to remember how yummy they were.

Okay, so here goes:  I promise to behave this week (with the exception of Thursday, when we'll probably go out to dinner for my son's birthday.  I make no promises for that day.)  Where should we go?  Goodwood BBQ?  Pirate Island Pizza?  CPK?  Who knows.  I'll report in later.

One last thing before I go:  I didn't take my measurements last week.  Kind of totally forgot to do it.  So I promise to take them tomorrow and report in with my total lost.  Okay.  I'm done whining now.  Thanks for letting me vent!

I can't believe I did it

I cheated.  Yes, that's right.  I cheated!

What happened was this: 

It was Monday night, FHE you know (Family Home Evening) and we were going down to Santaquin to a park by my niece's house where the kids could play in the splash pad.  We were going to have dinner.  We were supposed to be there at 6 PM.

Well, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up at 6 PM.  We hurried down to the park, arriving at 6:30 PM.  I didn't bring my food because I don't eat usually until around 7 or 7:30 when I'm on this phase of the diet.  The kids started playing on the splash pad.  Everyone started eating.  I realized we were gonna be there for a while.  UGH!  I didn't have my food, and I was starving, having just woken up from my nap.  I had a few slices of tomato, 2 small meatballs, and a little bit of the pulled pork.  I was tempted to eat the roll too, but decided to be good.  Then they pulled out the cookies.  They were the Keebler cookies:  grasshoppers, striped cookies, and peanut butter cookies. 

I had a bite of the grasshopper.  It wasn't as good as I thought it would be.  Kind of reminded me of a Thin Mint (Girl Scout cookies), but not as good.  Then I had an entire peanut butter cookie (kind of like the GSA Tag-Alongs, only not as good).  I wanted another one badly, but I didn't eat it. 

The worst part about this story?  We left by 7 because Munchkin was freezing.  It was cold and windy and he was soaking wet and shivering.  We were home by 7:30.  Had I known, I totally wouldn't have cheated!  But, what's done is done.  I am resolved to be extra good today though, to make up for it.  I have my charitable organization meeting tonight, and they always eat dinner.  I am determined to not cheat tonight.  And possibly ever again.  But we'll see.

Day 7 or I forgot to eat my apple AGAIN?

I planned this round of HCG very carefully.  I have a really hard time waking up early on Sunday mornings, so I wanted that to be my 7th day.  You know?  The one where you don't shoot yourself in the leg to give your body a bit of a rest?  Yeah, that one.

The problem is this:  Here it is, just past noon, almost time for me to eat lunch I might add, and I still haven't eaten my morning apple.  Why is that?  Well, because I woke up at 10.  You can't eat for a full hour after waking up.  At 11 I was just starting to get ready and putting the Munchkin into the tub for his morning soak.  Now here I sit, blogging at 12:15 PM, hungry, and wondering why.  Then I remember, oh yeah, I forgot to eat my apple AGAIN! 

This happens regularly.  I routinely forget to take my morning apple with me to work.  Sure I remember my lunch, but remembering a tiny little apple seems like almost too much for my brain this round.  I don't get it. 

But, the good news is that I have lost about 5 lbs, so I'm really quite happy.  My once-tight-then-too-loose-then-too-tight designer jeans now fit only snugly instead of the "I can't breathe when I wear these" fit, and I'm starting to need the assistance of a belt again to keep them up once they stretch out.  I no longer have to pour myself into them, too, which is nice.  I really hated jumping up and down to get them up.

I'm taking my measurements tomorrow.  My first round I took them daily. My second round I only took them the first week.  This round I think I'll stick with once weekly and be surprised by the progress I'm making....hopefully in the right direction! ;)

OMG I WANT SOME FREAKING CAKE!!

And I want it NOW! I am so grumpy because I'm STARVING!!!  I want to eat the potato chips and the cake and the PBJ sandies.  But, I have lost 2.5 lbs already, so I guess that's good.  It's definitely a step in the right direction.

I was thinking about it this morning, and realized something.

Round 1 I was so sick during my load days that I lost 10 lbs my first week.
Round 2 I gained 8 lbs my first 2 days, then it took 3 weeks to take the 8 lbs off.
This round, I'm already off to a decent start.  I only gained 1 lb on my load days, so taking it back off was a lot easier than that 8 lbs from the last round. 

I am determined to succeed this round.  However, I have a few obstacles:

My son turns 4 on the 30th of this month.  Party=cake & ice cream. We also usually go out to dinner for birthdays.  I'm totally going to struggle.  The alternative, though, was waiting until the beginning of October, and then I'd still be on the diet for Thanksgiving, which is so not going to happen! haha

Ok, this helped a little.  I still have a craving for the cake and the chips, but I think the tea is helping.  Hopefully I can keep my willpower up!!

Day 3

Wow, Day 3 and I'm already wishing I were done.  Yesterday was my last load day.  I'm wishing I could have eaten more food.  Today my SIL had Little Caesar's pizza.  I so wish I had eaten some pizza before the load days were over.  And potato chips!  ooh, i just remembered I have a bag of those Lay's Cheddar and Sour Cream ones.  They're my favorite!  OH, and Munchkin made me make him 2 PBJ sandwiches today, and it took all of my self control not to lick my fingers off!  Oh, and of course there is the triple chocolate fudge cake with triple chocolate fudge frosting that I made and then forgot about yesterday!  It's sitting there, taunting me on my kitchen counter. 

It's okay though.  I have at least 35 lbs to lose, and I am going to be dedicated this time (as opposed to my 2nd round when I cheated so badly).

I am going to take it one day at a time.  I got through today without any problems.  Let's see how tomorrow goes. :)

Starting Round 3

WOW!  It has been a looong time since I've posted anything.  Sorry about that.

So, I guess my last post was in May?  I finished my 2nd round in June, but only lost a total of 5 lbs because I cheated the whole time.  Yeah, not going to happen this time.

I don't know why I cheated.  I don't feel good.  Before, after my 1st round, I felt great.  Now, I've gained back a significant amount of weight because I stopped caring.  Not. Good.

I feel gross and icky all the time now.  My clothes don't fit, and I'm not going to go buy bigger ones, because I just got rid of all of my bigger clothes.  I don't want to end up in that vicious spiral again.  So, what am I going to do about it?

Start another round, of course!

I had to wait 10 weeks inbetween 2 and 3, anyway, and I think I might be at 11 weeks now?? I forgot...lost track...yeah, not a good thing.

So today was my first shot in over 3 months.  I had to psych myself up for it.  I forgot how much this vitamin B makes it sting.  Also, my needles are a little challenged, so I'm constantly worrying about them getting bent.  They bend super easily.  Oh well, next time I'll request different needles.  These are like the kind my SIL used when she was on it, not the kind I had my 1st round.

So, today is a load day, and already the thought of food is making me sick!  I know, crazy, right?  Maybe it's because I've been loading up all weekend? haha  I just wanted to get all of those yummy yummy good foods that I won't be able to eat out of the way. 

Also, gotta do my grocery shopping for the rest of the week today or tomorrow.  I forgot how much specialized food you need.  I'm going to try and do it without the Melba toast, which is noble, I know, but we'll see how long that lasts.

I'll try and update this more regularly.  I really think that writing everything helped me lose 35 lbs my first round, so here's to losing that much this time!

Just a Little Scare

I had quite the scare Thursday. Apparently I have been having some health issues that I didn't know I had. When the first tangible symptom presented I quickly went to the local Express Med (my doctor's office, 30 mins away, had already closed for the day). I was the only patient there. I got checked in, gave the standard samples they needed, filled out all the info, and sat waiting in the smaller waiting exam room.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

When the nurse, or whatever she was (she was not a doctor) came in, she was stumped. She began asking questions. I told her I was on the hcg diet, and she immediately blamed that, even though I was exhibiting several symptoms for an infection. She didn't know what to make of it, and left to do research....get this.... on the internet.

My confidence in her abilities was quickly crumbling.

After waiting an hour and a half, and listening to her tell me that my body was eating muscle (pretty sure hcg doesn't cause that....Dr. Simeon would have noted it in his book), she decided to send me to the hospital for some further testing.

OH JOY!

Fast forward to the hospital. After hours, the ER has to check you in. So not fun. I get checked in, return to the lab dept. and have MORE blood drawn. I requested they do it in the left arm, so I would have matching battle scars. They didn't think I was funny.

Now, I know it is weird to be able to give yourself an injection every day but not be able to watch blood being drawn, but have you seen the needle they use for that? It's HUGE compared to my little, teeny tiny injection needle. Plus, with an HCG injection, nothing is coming out of your body. Unlike when they draw blood and you can't feel your arm because the tourniquet is so tight, and then you can feel the blood leaving through the incredibly HUGE, painful needle that has just been jabbed, hopefully, into a vein in your inner elbow. Yeah, not my favorite part.

Then they let me leave. I went home, stressed. I was hoping they would rerun the tests that Express Med had supposedly run, and that it would in fact come back as some weird, common infection, and nothing more serious.

At one point the lady at Express Med had suggested that either a) my body was eating my muscle tissue or b) my kidneys were failing/not working as well as they should. Now, when you can see that a patient is visibly FREAKED OUT about suddenly being sick, when there had been no sign at all that they were, you should NEVER, ever, NEVER tell them that their organs might not be working, until you are absolutely 100% positive that the said organs are in fact not working.

I kind of felt like I was in my own episode of House, only without Dr. House or his staff (mainly Dr. Chase....mmmm.....) to take care of me and figure out what was wrong.

After about an hour of anxious waiting (I know it's not that long, but it seemed like forever), I got a call from Express Med. It was a really nasty infection. The nurse was so surprised. She seemed to think that it was something much more serious, and hcg related. I was kind of bugged, because she obviously didn't know anything about hcg, so for her to make such suggestions was just silly. She told me that I would need to eat more than 500 calories (because "it's not healthy...your body can't support itself on that little amount of food") and/or stop taking the injections immediately ("it's not really safe").

Let me ask you this: If it weren't safe, would my entire family have been on the diet and lost as much weight as we had? And, don't you think that I would have exhibited these symptoms during the first round of hcg, and not two weeks into my second round? And, if it wasn't safe and your body couldn't sustain itself on that amount of food, don't you think that doctors wouldn't be prescribing it to people as a weight loss aid? Just some questions to mull over.

So, I am glad to report that I do NOT have to quit the diet. I don't have to stop taking the injections. I don't need to eat more food. And, most importantly, I am NOT losing/eating my muscle tissue, contrary to the belief of the staff at Express Med.

There is a lesson learned from all this. What is it?

If you're sick, just go straight to the ER. You'll probably end up there anyway, especially if you go to Express Med. Save yourself the extra 15 mins of driving through ripped up SR 192 through 3 towns to get to the hospital while you're freaking out because the people who are supposed to know what they're taking about don't. Just go right to the ER. It'll save you a lot of stress in the long run, I'm sure of it.

Frustration

Yes, I'm only about a week and a half into this second round, but I'm struggling a little.

I have only lost about 5 lbs so far. Yes, it's okay because my first two days were load days - and good ones at that - but I keep freaking out a little each morning when I get on the scale.

I have to remind myself, deep breaths, it'll be okay. It's not like I have 10 days left. I have 30 days left. It's okay. I'll catch up. My goal is attainable. It will be O.K.


Hopefully.

Day 4 - Round 2

I gained 4 lbs on my load days. I've lost 5 lbs, making a net loss of 1 lb. I'm really quite excited about it. I was really nervous about the weight gain, but now that I've lost it all by day 4, I'm not too worried about it.

I'm hoping to lose another 3 lbs this week. Hopefully I can hit my goal of 35 lbs, but we'll see!

Day 3 - Round 2

My last couple of days have been awesome! My load days differed significantly this round from last time. Last time I was so sick. This time I ate like a queen!

Saturday morning, my DH took us out to breakfast at IHOP. I ate so much food it isn't even funny. Then we went to dinner at Cheesecake Factory with my parents for my mom's birthday. I had the salmon and Steak Diane combo. OMG it was so much food! I also had several glasses of Coke. Then, before we got the check, the waiter asked if we wanted dessert. Their featured dessert was red velvet cake alternating with cheesecake. OMG! 4 layers of yummy goodness. I ordered one to go. Then, I ate half of it on the ride home!!

Today has been hard, but not nearly as hard as my first round. The hardest part is that I'm so used to eating other healthy foods that I forget sometimes. Like, right now there are some Sugar-Free peanut butter cups sitting on the table. I can't tell you how many times I've picked them up and almost opened them, before remembering "oh yeah, I can't have those for 7 more weeks."

I was a little frustrated to get on the scale my first two days because of the weight gain. However, I was almost 100% positive I'd gain 10 lbs, and I lost almost half a pound between my binge at the Cheesecake Factory yesterday and getting on the scale this morning. What the???

My goal for this round is to lose another 30-35 lbs. I'm thinking it's definitely possible, if I stick with the diet and don't cheat!

Preparation for Round 2

I am getting ready to start my second round this weekend. I'm so excited! I just received some super cute (size 30) desiner shorts that I can't wait to fit into!! Of course, it will be July by the time I got off of my second round (shots and maintenance), but I'll still have time to wear shorts, right? Unless it snows in July....which would be weird.

I'm a little nervous about starting my second round, though. I know a couple of people who didn't do so well on their subsequent rounds, and I'm a little stressed about that. I'm sure it will be fine, though, once I get started.

The thing that makes me crazy, though, are all the excuses I've heard, in person or online, for not sticking with a program that is really so easy. "I only cheated once." "I don't have time." "It's easier to just go out than eat what I'm supposed to." "It's too hard to follow the diet."

Seriously? You are able to lose up to 35 lbs (depending on your starting weight, I'm sure) in as little as 7 weeks, and you're cheating because it's "too hard?" This has been the easiest diet I've ever been on. Yes, it takes a lot of self control, but it's totally worth it. All it takes is 7 weeks of a little self control, and you can lose weight. No exercise. No nasty diet food. The food we eat is actually really good, and you have a lot of different combination choices.

So, I will start writing more faithfully once I start round 2. I will probably start Friday, so I will definitely see you all then!

Post-Maintenance

Well, I'm off maintenance. I can officially reintroduce starches and sugars. Slowly. Very slowly.

Today I had a few m&m's from my son's Easter basket. They were just ok. I also had a piece of Harry and David Moose Munch. It wasn't what I had hyped it up to be. I went out and bought more sugar-free candy. It's just so much better. And better for you.

I did the shopping today and bought a bunch of "healthy" stuff, like gluten free muffin mix. It'll be interesting to see how good (or bad) they taste!

I am determined to keep eating some of the things from maintenance. Like, today it was so nice outside that we pulled out the Weber grill and fired it up! I had a nice sirloin steak with grilled mushrooms (and melted Swiss cheese on top). For dessert my fabulous husband grilled me a Fuji apple, sprinkled it with cinnamon, and then I topped it with the whipped topping recipe from the maintenance program. It melted just like ice cream. It was fabulous! I even got my son calling it ice cream. He's three, so I guess that wasn't too hard, but he LOVES it! He even ate some of the apple.

My husband just started the program, he's about 5 days in, and is liking it so far. It's funny to see him do it though, because he's always complaining that he's "starving." I laugh and remind him how he treated me my first few weeks. At least I'm kind enough to eat my cream cheese muffins in the kitchen behind the wall where he can't see me!

I have decided to do a second round. When DH ordered his stuff, he ordered me some as well, so it's sitting in the fridge waiting to be mixed. I have three weeks of waiting. If my calculations are correct, I can start May 1st, or thereabouts. I'll be done in time for summer vay-cay to Deer Valley. Hopefully by then my swimming suit will fit (I tried it on tonight....not yet!).

It's been fun to see the interest in what I've done to lose the almost 35 lbs. So many people I know are doing the program now. It's awesome! Most of my family is on it, or will be shortly, and even some family friends have expressed interest in joining the "fun!"

Maintenance - Day 20

Tomorrow is my last day on maintenance. I must admit, I'm a little scared.

Today I had to do an egg day because I was 2 lbs over my last injection day weight. BOO! Good news though, it took almost 3 full weeks to gain 2 lbs. That's pretty good, considering that before all I had to do was look at a bowl of cereal and I'd gain a pound! Can I just say, eating 12 eggs in one day is not as easy as it sounds. It sucks! I am so sick of eggs!!

So here's to tomorrow and my last day on maintenance. On Friday I start phasing in my starches and sugars. Exciting but SCARY!!!

Maintenance - Day 16

I am quickly approaching the end of my 3 week maintenance program.

I've been yo-yo-ing a little, which I understand to be normal. I'm doing well though. I'm within the 2 lb range of my final injection day, so all is well :)

I am excited to be able to eat "normal" again, but will be keeping a lot of the things I've been eating on maintenance. My all-time favorite recipe is the cream cheese muffins with a little SF syrup. YUMMY!

And the SF peanut butter cookies.

And the whipped topping on SF Jello gelatin cups. Mmmm....

And the SF candy has been quite delightful as well.

So, as you can see, my diet will have changed. It will, however, be nice to be able to eat bread again. I miss my PBJ sandies. Mmmm....And I have a girl scout cookie with my name on it in my trunk...just waiting....

But I'm not going to go crazy. I've been eating, and eating well, so it's not like I'm starving all the time. A lot of times I am actually quite full.

Last night we had Easter dinner with my family, and everyone had pasta/Caesar salads with jello and hogi sandies and strawberry shortcake (my assignment). I planned ahead and brought a zucchini which I sliced. A hard-boiled egg which I mashed up with some butter, and then had some of the deli turkey (no sugars in it, I checked the lable), some tomato, and some of the pickles and olives. Then for dessert I set aside a bowl of cut strawberries, sprinkled on some Splenda and used my whipped topping recipe (which EVERYONE enjoyed immensely) on top of it. Ooh it was delightful! Of course, it was only like 400 calories total, so I had to eat some food when I got home because I was way under my calories, but that's okay. I made what we had at the party work, with a little planning ahead.

Maintenance - Day 6

Well, so far so good.

I haven't yo-yo-ed as much as I expected to. I lost close to another 3 lbs, then gained just over a pound back yesterday, but that was totally my own fault. I went over calories. Not going to do that again, let me tell you! haha

I've found some really great recipes online that I want to try. It's amazing how many recipes can be made sugar-free by substituting Splenda instead of sugar, and how many recipes are gluten/starch free.

Example: I was on King Arthur Flour, perusing their products, books, ingredients, etc, and drooling all over my keyboard. I love KAF almost as much as I love Williams-Sonoma and Sur La Table....and I guess Chef's Catalog, too. But seriously, I LOVE KAF.

Imagine my surprise when I started following them on Twitter, and found that they were doing recipes for Passover (which I believe is next week....I'm not Jewish, so I wouldn't know for sure). Anyway, one of the recipes they had was for a chocolate cake. OH MY HEAVEN! I so want to make this cake. You have no idea. It looks so good! It does use sugar, but that can be easily substituted out for Splenda. And the chocolate chips...well, you can order unsweetened chocolate chips from KAF. I supposed you could use unsweetened baking chocolate and chop the crap out of it, but whatever's easier for you.

Anyway, I'm seriously thinking about making this cake next week. Maybe I'll take it up to my parents' and we can all enjoy it together on Easter. I'd love to see their surprise when I start eating a chocolate cake! haha

Also, did you know that Almond milk is lactose free, unsweetened, and tastes like watered down skim milk (or blue milk as it's fondly known at our house)? It's not bad with peanut butter cookies. My husband gags everytime I get it out, and it is a little pricey, but it's not bad. Definitely an option I'm going to keep in mind. It only has 40 calories per 1 cup. How much does milk have? Ummm...more than that, I'm sure. :D Definitely a healthy alternative to my binge-drinking milk and cookies/cake days of old. (I used to love milk)

And cream cheese muffins are delightful with a tablespoon of Sugar Free Log Cabin Syrup drizzled over the top. Oh they are to die for!! MMMMMmmmm MMMMmmmm.....I want one now. Good thing I don't have any left in the fridge!! haha

Sugar free candy's not so bad either. You have to be careful, because the calories are still higher, but there's no sugar, so it's okay to have some in moderation. I personally LOVE the Werther's sugar free hard candies, the Dove raspberry truffles, and I'm liking the Russel Stover's peanut butter cups. I haven't tried any other kinds yet, but so far the Werther's are my absolute faves. I'll let you know as I try the rest of the stash (I bought some of everything a few weeks ago in preparation for maintenance, just in case I got a sweet tooth craving).

Maintenance, Day 3

So, this morning when I weighed, I thought I had gained 2.2 lbs. Silly me! It must've been too early, because in reality I lost 0.8 lbs!! haha So, no correction day needed yet.

I'm really quite happy that it's going so well. It is a little tricky at times, because yes! I want another muffin with my breakfast! haha. I've got to re-learn self-control all over again. The first time was with 500 calories a day, and now it's with the 1900-2100.

I've been having fun making all these different recipes, though, and there are some definite favorites that I want to keep around after maintenance is over. Like, the cream cheese muffins drizzled with a little bit of SF Log Cabin brand syrup. Mmmmm.....so good! And the "Magic PB cookies" are fantastic. Bonus about the cookies? My 3 y.o. LOVES them! He loves all things cookie, anyway, but these are healthier, because they are sugar and gluten free, and use natural PB instead of the preservative loaded stuff.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "Oh no! She's become one of them! Those people that only eat SF, Gluten-free, preservative-free things!" I haven't. I'm just saying that some of the SF/gluten free recipes that I've been using are really good, and I'd like to keep them around. Don't worry! :)

OH! OH! OH! OH! OH! I almost didn't tell you all! I've decided to do another 49 day round of the HCG protocol. I have 3 weeks of maintenance, then a 3 week waiting period before I can do it, but I so want to. My SILs, MIL, and husband are going to do it all together (probably). My DH has been researching some things, and has learned a lot. I still have 29.4 lbs until I reach my goal weight, and I would like to reach it before we go on family vay-cay this year (at the beginning of July). I figure that if I start as soon as I can after the 3 week waiting period, then I can jump right in and be done with maintenance the day we leave! I know, cutting it close, but totally worth it if I can lose another 30 lbs or so on a second 49 day round.

So! Here's to a successful 3 weeks of maintenance, 3 weeks of waiting, and 2nd round of Phase 2! :)

Maintenance, Day 2

I gained 2 lbs from my weight yesterday. At first I was freaking out that I'd have to do a correction day. I got out my paperwork, and it says that the weight you go off of is the last injection day. Well, I pulled out my paper, and I haven't gained or lost from my last injection day. I stayed the same! Yay! No correction day for me!

Breakfast this morning was great. I had a fried egg, 6 strawberries with whipped topping, and 2 cream cheese muffins with sugar free syrup dribbled over it. I'm really excited for lunch. I'm having my normal spinach chicken salad, but with 7 oz of chicken instead of 3.5. And for dinner I'm having mixed veggies and a nice, large steak cooked in butter. Mmmm.....

Okay, so even though I'm not hungry, because I just ate breakfast, all this talk of food makes me think I am, so I'm going to go work now. :)

Maintenance, Day 1

Today wasn't as bad as I expected it to be.

I ate just over 2000 calories today. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. My carbs were a little high, 14% instead of 12%, but I think I can work that down by minimizing my apple consumption.

I'm not too worried about gaining weight right now. We'll see how my body reacts to this calorie increase tomorrow, but I'm not too worried at all.

Some people have told me it's hard to eat your calories, but I didn't find it too difficult. I spread my meals and snacks out, and adjusted my pre-determined meals a little bit. There were a couple of recipes that I changed a little to reduce the portion size (like my crustless pizza, I decreased the amount of Canadian bacon when I saw the size of the pieces).

Day 49

I get to eat tomorrow morning!! YAY!!

Also, I lost another 1.4 lbs, so I have now lost a total of 34.8 lbs. I am so close to my goal of 35 lbs! I'm hoping to lose that final 0.2 lbs today. :)

I'll let you know how eating 1900 calories tomorrow feels. I'm probably going to have to gag half of it down, but oh well. We'll see.

Day 48

Had my final weigh in today. Here are my results!

Weight loss: 33.4 lbs
change in fat percent: 40.5% down to 33.8% - 6.7% decrease
BMI change: 31.4 down to 25.8 - I'm almost to the "healthy weight" BMI range. I have 4.2 lbs to lose until I get there.

INCHES LOST:
Chest: 5 inches
Waist: 9 inches
Hips: 4.5 inches
Arms: .75 inches
Legs: 1.75 inches
Calf: 1 inch
Neck: .5 inches
TOTAL INCHES LOST: 22.5 inches

I'm quite happy with these results. I mean, 7 weeks isn't that long, but to see results like this really makes me happy :)

Don't think that just because I'm done with my first round of Phase 2 (in 48 hours) that I won't keep blogging. I will. I'm going to continue to track my progress through Phase 3 maintenance and the following 3 weeks before I start ROUND 2 (hopefully). WISH ME LUCK! :)

Day 46

Today was my last shot. I'm so excited!! I did, unfortunately, have a 0.2 lb gain, which sucked, but what can you do? I've still lost 33.2 lbs.

I have 72 hours of the 500 calorie diet, and then, Friday at 10:30 AM, I get to eat actual food again! Well, semi-normal food. haha :) I'm really excited to see what happens.

I have my final weigh in tomorrow morning. I also take my final pictures. I'm so excited to see how they turn out!

Day 45

I am so close.

So close to finishing.

So close to reaching my goal.

I've lost 33.4 lbs. My goal is 35 lbs.

I take my last shot tomorrow. Then I start 72 hours of 500 calories.

Then, on Friday morning, I start eating 1900-2100 calories a day.

I'm excited. I'm scared. I can't wait to have eggs and cheese again!!!

So, what say you? I can lose 1.6 lbs by Friday, right? I really want to hit my goal. Then I'll only have 28.4 lbs to lose on my second round. I think I'll start my second round the end of April. Then I'll be done in time for family vacation in July. And I'll be hot. And skinny (hopefully). And I can start toning or training or whatever. I'm so excited!!

SHOPPING

I am so excited to start Phase 3!!!

I went and did the grocery shopping yesterday for this next week, and was so excited that I even bought a few things for phase 3. Just a few things, like:

soymilk
sour cream
Natural Peanut Butter
Sugar Free jello and pudding
Sugar Free blackberry jam
pickles
Canadian bacon
Sugar Free candies (as a treat, only)
Diet 7 UP (pomegranite flavor)
and SPLENDA (in the bag, for cooking)

I can't wait to get the rest of the stuff I need, including:

Cream cheese
Mozzarella
Swiss
ground beef
eggs
peppers
and other yummy food!

Friday can't come soon enough!!

Almost finished!!

I have 3 shots left. I am so excited!! I've also now lost a total of 32 lbs. I am so close to my 35 lb goal!!

I'm also SUPER excited to start eating some semi-normal foods again. I bought all-natural peanut butter, some soymilk, and a bag of SPLENDA (to use instead of sugar). I also bought some sugar-free candy/chocolates, as a treat for once in a while - a special reward of sorts, since I can't eat my girl scout cookies that are hiding in the pantry!

I start eating on Friday. YIPPEE!!

WEIGH IN and PHASE 3 meeting

I have lost a total of 30 lbs. I am so excited!! I have about 7 more shots, so I'm hoping to eek out another 5 lbs by then. Then I start on maintenance. I'm scared to DEATH.

The shot-diet (or phase 2 as it's called) was pretty easy. I knew I could only eat 3.5 oz of 1 meat from the list and 1 veg from the list. I could have a fruit from the list at 10 AM, and another one 6 hrs later. I could have a total of 2 pieces of melba toast throughout my day. That's how my life has been these last 7 weeks.

But once I finish the shots, and 72 hours has passed (to get the hcg out of my system), my world as I know it will totally change. After that 72 hrs I "get" to start eating 1900-2100 calories a day. This is going to be a HUGE change from the 500 I'm used to. I can't imagine eating an entire 6 oz steak in one sitting, but I'm supposed to. I have WAY more options, fruit wise, and I can even eat some cheeses. I have to confess, I'm quite excited about the cheese. And the yogurt.

We bought a cookbook from our lady today (my MIL and I are sharing it) and I can even have natural Peanut Butter, and make PB cookies! And I can eat sugar-free chocolates! I must admit, I'm excited to be able to have some sweets after so long. But I'm still scared.

I'm afraid that I'll screw up somehow. I'm sure if I just map everything out ahead of time, I'll be fine. But, what happens once my 3 weeks of maintenance are over? I still have to be careful. I can't go back to how I was. I can't eat out every meal and king size everything and drink 150+ oz of Coke daily. NO! I'm determined not to be like that!!

I will be making smarter choices, though. Instead of making lunch one day, I could go get a salad from Subway up the street (or a sandwich, depending on my mood...you can't beat those $5 footlongs!) I'm going to be reading labels more carefully now. Like, did you know that "low fat" may not necessarily be better than regular?? In order to drop the fat they raise the carbs. What the?? Isn't that essentially the same thing? Sugars turn to fats. Sugars are carbs. More carbs, less "fat" = low fat. I'm going to definitely spend more time reading labels, that's for sure!

Everything I thought I knew about dieting has totally changed, and that scares me too. I have to re-learn it all, and I'm worried that my brain won't be able to. Of course, my brain has been convincing my body that 500 calories of food is okay...probably because there's at least 1500 calories of fat floating around in my body courtesy of the hcg releasing my abnormal fat stores.

Well, I figure I have a whole week to totally freak out before I get to the new diet. Oh, did I mention I can't have any starches or sugars while on maintenance?? Yeah, no more oranges. No more melba toast :( I'm going to miss my friends Orange and Melba. It's okay, they can rejoin me once maintenance is over. (I'm mostly just mad because I just bought a 10 lb bag of oranges! I hope they're still good, or at least that my family will eat them while I can't!)

I'm sorry for rambling. I'm going to just do my best and try really really really hard not to gain any weight back. That would totally suck.

Upcoming Goal

Just looked at my calendar. When I started the HCG diet, we set goals. Realistic goals, I should say. They told us to plan on only losing around 25-30 lbs at the most. Well, being the overachiever that I am, I set an unattainable goal to lose 35 lbs by March 12th.

Today I weighed in and have lost 27.8 lbs. That's almost 28 lbs! This means that if I continue at the rate I had this week, I can easily lose 7 more pounds by next Friday. Doncha think? I'm thinking that I might actually, for once, make a goal that I've set!

Day 34 - WEIGH IN

Had my weigh in today. Yesterday was a rough day. I gained 0.4 lbs. I figured out what it was though: my machine oil bottle that I use to oil my Gammill quilting machine (Yes, I'm a longarm quilter) gets oil on my hands, thus causing the either total stoppage of weight loss for a few days, or at least a slowing of loss. Yesterday though, I gained :( BOO!

Anyway, so today I lost a whole pound (really only 1/2 a pound though after you account for the gain). So my total weight loss is 26.6 lbs. Woot! Woot!

Also, I would just like to note my body fat % change:

Starting percentage: 40.5
Current percentage: 36.1

Last week I was in the 37's. I dropped almost an entire percent in one week! WOOHOO!

So, that's this week's progress. I'm really quite happy. I have a few more weeks left on the HCG shots and then 3 weeks of maintenance. I can't wait to see what next week brings :)

Day 32

Just stoppin' by to say:


I've lost 26 lbs!!!!

Day 30 - Progress

I can finally show some progress :) Yes, that means there are actually photos in this post! haha

So, last February I bought this dress (below) to wear to my nephew's wedding. At the time I had lost 14 lbs, and spent 2 months dieting and excerising. I was so excited I went out and paid way more money than I normally would have on this outfit.

I wore it twice before I couldn't wear it anymore :( Well tonight I realized that I weigh 1 lb more today than I did a year ago! So I tried it on and it FITS! I'm so glad, because today I went shopping with the sisters and bought these beauties:
at a KILLER sale at Dillard's. And guess what? They match the dress! It totally wasn't planned. I really went to buy a pair of black shoes and a brown belt, two things I need, but ended up with cute brown shoes instead. :)

So, tomorrow I am going to wear my dress to church. I'm so excited! :)

Day 29 - It's the Little Things

It's the little things that have been happening that make me really happy.

I have lost 23.4 lbs in 29 days! WOO HOO!! Last year when I dieted for 3 months I lost 14 lbs....dieting and working out and buying EXPENSIVE diet food. This diet isn't that pricey (chicken and steak and veggies....not too expensive at Wal-Mart, FYI) and I'm losing so much more weight than when I worked out for an hour every day.

Most of my shirts are now too big. I can't wait to go shopping at VS and some other really great stores I haven't been able to shop at, like Aeropostale, Hollister, and maybe even AE.

My belt is 3 holes tighter now. My pants still fit well enough that I'm not rushing out to buy new ones. Also, my Yanuk size 31 jeans that I bought last year, that I've never been able to pull up past my knees, almost go up over my bum now! YIPEE! A few more pounds and I'll be able to wear them! I'm so excited.

I'm hoping to hit 25 lbs lost in the next few days. I'll let you know! :)

Day 23

UGH! I didn't lose any weight...again. I am sick of this no weight loss thing.

In good news, my DH is totally loving my hot new bod. He said this morning that he couldn't believe how skinny I got in just 1 week (he's been out of town). That of course made me feel really good.

I just need 0.6 lbs to get to the 20 lb lost mark, and I want that last 0.6 lbs SO BADLY!

I'm hoping tomorrow is a better day for weight loss. We'll see.

Day 22

Today is day 22 and I am just 0.6 lbs shy of having lost 20 lbs!!!!! OMG I am so excited to hit the 20 lb mark!!

I'm doing a lot better with craving foods. As long as I stay busy, I'm okay. This means that I've been sewing.... a lot. I even cleaned out my "sewing corner," the corner in the living room that I took over with all of my bags of fabric and supplies. I found a whole bunch of projects to finish, and have been working on them. I made 3 quilt tops, a bag, and put together a cute little Peter Rabbit soft book for my son. I've kept so busy, in fact, that the last 2 nights I haven't even gotten my laptop out at home! I KNOW! CRAZY!

The one downside to losing all this weight is that I am FREEZING all the time! Seriously, I didn't know how cold 70 degrees was. haha.

I haven't taken my measurements for a few days, so I'm excited to see how I'm doing tomorrow when I finally take them! Also, I got out my Yanuk jeans that I bought in March of last year, and couldn't fit into, and tried them on. I can almost pull them up over my butt. I am so excited! I've never been able to get them past my knees! I'm hoping to lose around another 10 lbs or so, and then be able to finally fit into them. :)

Day 15

So far so good! Yes, I only lost like 0.2 lbs today, but a loss is a loss.

I've noticed, being as busy as it has at the floral this week (Valentine's weekend), that when I am busy working constantly I don't really think about food.

Example: I'm supposed to eat "breakfast" at 10 AM. I didn't actually get time to eat my apple until 11:30, and it took half an hour to eat my apple slices.

Then, lunch at 1 PM took a while to eat because I had to help at the counter, answer phones, and do dance flowers in between bites of food.

I did get to take a break for dinner. It was probably the only 30 minutes that I actually sat down in the whole 10 hours I worked today.

Tomorrow is the day before Valentine's, so I'm definitely looking forward to another busy, work-filled day where I can focus on work and let eating and food take a back burner in my mind.

Good news: I'm in 2 weeks! 5 weeks left on the protocol, 3 weeks of maintenance and then I'm FREE!! Hoping to lose lots more weight this week. At least 5 lbs. :) 4.8 more to go! haha

Day 13 - WEIGH IN

Weighed in this morning. Total lbs lost: 14.2


WAHOO!

I am on my way! I only lost 5.2 lbs, and my goal waas 6, but I figure that's pretty good considering I had 2 days of no weight loss.

Goal for next week? 6 more lbs. That would put me down 20, 1/3 of the way to my goal. :) That would just be awesome.

Today has been easier than past days. I've figured out a pretty good eating schedule to avoid starving to death. Breakfast 10 AM, Lunch 12:30 - 1 PM, Dinner 6:30 PM, last fruit serving 8 PM.

Day 12

I have figured out a secret. It's the secret to being able to lose weight every day. Wanna know what it is??

DRINK YOUR WATER!!!

I have discovered that on days that I do not drink all 96 oz of my water, I lose little or no weight. On days when I do drink my water, I lose more weight. :)

How easy is that?? Drink water! Okay, so it's pretty hard to force yourself to drink 96 oz of water in a day, and nothing else. Yuck! I hate water. I despise water. I LOVE Coke. I miss my Coke. BUT, it is worth missing it to lose the weight, yeah? Yeah :D

So, there you have it. My new-found knowledge, and the key to my weight loss.

P.S. - weighed myself this morning and have lost 13.2 lbs total. YIPEE!!! Official weigh-in results tomorrow after I weigh in.

Day 10

Today is a tough day because it's the SUPER BOWL.

Now, I don't like sports, except for the UFC, so I do not watch the Super Bowl for the game. I don't care who wins or loses. There are 2 reasons for my watching the Super Bowl:
1) The FOOD
2) The Commercials.

Notice that FOOD is the first reason? I LOVE party food. Chips, dip, brownies, cookies, soda, cake, fudge, sandwiches, soup, tacos, burritos, whatever....it's all GOOD.

I am not attending any parties this year. My SIL is throwing a party, and they are having meatball subs. OMG I LOVE meatball subs! She's on the same diet as me, only this is her 2nd time around. I don't know how she can stand to be in the same building as those yummy smelling sandwiches.

This morning was hard, too, because I woke up a little late. Too late that I didn't have time to eat my breakfast before I went to church. By the time we got home I was STARVING. I hurried and whipped up a stuffed tomato (get the recipe here, it's in the sidebar). Maybe I made it wrong, or not, but either way it wasn't as good as I was expecting it to be. :( Luckily it was lunch, so I can have a more filling, yummier dinner. I also had 6 strawberries with some Xylitol sprinkled on top.

Xylitol is great. It tastes just like sugar, no aftertaste, and if you have reactions to sucralose or aspartame then this is great for you! Truvia is okay (I bought a box the other day) but it's ground smaller. I think I like the texture of the Xylitol better. BUT, Truvia is only $4 for a box, so it's a lot cheaper and you can get it at Wal-mart.

Also, I lost 1.4 lbs again. YAY! I told my DH that it seems like when I have days of no loss, I have a pretty good loss the next day. So, we are up to 3 lbs this week so far. I weigh in on Wednesday and am hoping for another 3 lbs. That would be great. My average loss/week goal is 6 lbs. That would be AWESOME! So, hopefully I've mixed the diet up enough that I can lose some weight tomorrow and help get those 3 more lbs.

Day 9

I'm a little discouraged today. This is my second day this week not losing any weight.

Yes, I lost almost 10 lbs last week, but I was so hoping to keep that going.

The program says that sometimes you stall at a weight you once were, because your body was comfortable there. Well, that would kind of explain it. Last January, when we started dieting, I was the weight that I currently am. It took me 3 months to lose 14 lbs last year. I got down to almost my pre-pregnancy weight.

Did I mention that I found my 3 y.o. pre-natal book? Yeah, I was 152 lbs 12 weeks pregnant. I so don't weigh anything close to that right now! I'm so depressed! I weigh more than I did when I was 37 weeks pregnant!!! (Odd number of weeks, yes, but I went to the doctor the day before I had him, so that's how I know!) It's depressing. My only consolation is that I am gradually getting back down to my 37-weeks-pregnant-weight, which is a good step.

I'm mixing up my food a little, too, so I'm sure that my body's just thrown off a little. That's probably why the stall in weight loss today. We'll see how tomorrow goes. I'm determined to drink all 90 oz of water today, too, which I didn't do yesterday. Oops!

I thought I'd mix it up a little, too, buy trying some herbal fruit teas. I had raspberry with my breakfast. It was pretty good. I think I might make a pitcher of blueberry and put it in the fridge. Anything to break up the monotony of plain old boring water. I can't have Crystal Light, so I need something to make my water less boring. Aspartame, sucralose, any chemically made fake sugar makes me really, really sick -- like almost migraine headaches and an upset stomach....so NOT fun!

So, here's to a hopefully better day of weight loss. I guess I shouldn't complain too much, 10.5 lbs in a week and a half is not bad at all, huh? :)

Day 8

So far so good! I've lost a total of 10.4 lbs. :) Yipee!

Yesterday wasn't as bad as previous days. I've figured out my meal timing so that it's perfect and I don't go to bed STARVING anymore, which is nice.

Yesterday I didn't have to inject myself, and it was a nice break for my leg. Today was surprisingly easy, and not too painful after having a day off.

I've been mixing up my foods a little. For the first week my veggies were exclusively broccoli and mushrooms. Now I'm branching out into cauliflower (delicious steamed!) and zucchini (which I haven't tried yet, but it looks yummy). I'm going to buy some halibut today, too, and maybe even some shrimp or lobster (both are on sale at the local groceries).

The grissini was a little tricky to find, but it's a good alternative to the melba toast, which I have come to look forward to each day. The rosemary grissini is better than the garlic, in my opinion. But, I'm not a big garlicky-breadstick-flavor-loving-person.

My biggest challenge right now is that the rest of my family isn't doing the diet with me. My son is only 3, so he usually eats something different from the rest of us, anyway, so it's not that big of a deal. He loves corn dogs and fish sticks, both things that I detest, so making his dinners isn't tempting. My DH on the other hand talks about his cravings for things like coconut shrimp and In-n-out burger CONSTANTLY. It's very tempting to cheat. But, I know if I cheat, I will have given up on the easiest diet I've ever gone on, and what does that say about me? If I can't stick to something this simple for 49 days, then how am I ever going to maintain once I'm off of it?

I am DETERMINED to not cheat. NO CHEATING. That's my motto.

I came close yesterday when my 3 y.o was sitting on my lap eating saltines. Oh they smelled so good! And he kept dropping crumbs on my leg. I had to throw them away immediately so that I wasn't tempted to put them in my mouth, and then I sent him upstairs to eat his crackers in his room! haha Avoid temptation at all costs. :)

My great nephew is turning 3 next week and they're having cake and ice cream to celebrate on Saturday. I am not attending. I don't trust myself to be in a room that smells that good and not cheat. It's just not possible. So, I'm avoiding it.

I've set my mind to it, and I'm not giving up. There, now I CAN'T! I've written it down and I'm posting this out there for the whole world to see. Now if I cheat, I won't be disapppointing only myself, but anyone else who happens to read this.

Day 6 - WEIGH IN

Today was my first official weigh in. I have lost 9 pounds. I AM SO EXCITED!!!

I've also been taking my measurements every day. I've lost 5 inches off my waist, 2 off my chest, and 2 off my hips. HOLY CRAP!

I'm so happy to see results like this already. It is making the whole thing totally worth the pain and hunger, and the money!

Day 5 - morning

Yesterday was easier than Day 3. I'm still craving lots of different things.

I had a dream last night that I ate a Reese's peanut butter cup....and it was so YUMMY!

Did I mention that this morning my DH made French toast for him and our 3 y.o.? Oh it smells so good! And they're using the homemade bread I made last week. I want it so bad!

Dinner last night wasn't this bad. I had steak and grilled mushrooms. They had Scooby-Doo mac n' cheese. I was not craving at all. Until about 8 PM while I watched Heroes on NBC. I so wanted to grab the popcorn that I know is in the cupboard and pop me a bag and chow down! Force of habit. I'd already drunk my 94 oz of water, but I kept drinking more to curb those cravings.

I only have a few more minutes before I can eat this morning. The rule is that you can't eat for a whole hour after you wake up...liquids only. I can't wait! I'm going to have a half a grapefruit with some salt. Mmmmm....yummy.

As far as the inejctions are going, they are going pretty well. It hurt today, first time so far, but I think that's because I was too close to the midline of my leg. Hopefully tomorrow doesn't hurt as bad!

I have my first weigh-in tomorrow. I haven't weighed yet today, but I've already lost like 6 lbs as of yesterday. I'm definitely hoping to keep that pace up. 49 days = 7 weeks, so I figure 6 lbs a week is a good start to my goal. Of course, they tell you to only expet 25-30 lbs the first time around. I'm just hoping for a little extra :)

Day 3

I am struggling.

I was so incredibly sick last night and this morning. I think that everything I gorged myself on these last 2 days decided to leave my body all at once....without any warning. ugh

I slept for most of today. I got up at 9 AM long enough to give myself my injection and weigh myself. That's all I could handle. I couldn't stand any longer.

By about 11:30 I was so hungry that I couldn't sleep any more. I got up and cut myself an apple and had a piece of melba toast. I wasn't going to eat the melba toast this first round of hcg, but I was SO HUNGRY! Let me tell you, melba toast is not the tastiest thing in the world. It tastes like cardboard, literally. However, when you are STARVING and a little dehydrated it tastes pretty darn good. :)

After my quickie snack I crashed back onto the couch. My 3 y.o. was watching Disney channel and I fell back asleep somewhere during either a Phineas and Ferb episode, or Hannah Montana. It's all kind of a blur. When I woke up, hours later, it was Wizards of Waverly Place. ugh.

It was around 2 and I figured I'd probably ought to eat some lunch. I got all my steaks out and cut the fat off, weighed them, and cooked them up for the week. It took 1 1/2 hours! What the?? So yeah, about 4 PM I'm finally eating lunch. I had steak with some grilled mushrooms. OH SO YUMMY!

At 5:30 I had half a grapefruit, my second serving of fruit for the day, and another piece of melba toast.

Dinner time came around about 1 1/2 hours later and I had some grilled tilapia and broccoli. Now, I have learned a very important lesson here: NEVER have fish for dinner when it is the LAST thing you will be eating. Fish is more of a lunch item. Steak is more filling.

Another important lesson I've learned: It's really hard to drink 94 oz. of water in 4 hours. I think I'm definitely going to have to spread it out tomorrow. However, it has been a lifesaver tonight, since I am still STARVING!

The hardest part though? I find myself walking into the kitchen and, out of habit, reaching for the fruit snacks, or the popcorn cupboard, or the cereal bag. Can I just say that pouring milk for my 3 y.o. today was one of the hardest things I've had to do? I filled the cup a little too full. Normally I just sip it down, and I caught myself with the cup halfway to my mouth before I realized that I can't do that anymore!! THIS IS SO HARD!

But, I'm determined not to cheat! It took every ounce of strength I had this morning not to beg my DH to go out and buy me some 7-up for my stomach. Instead, I sipped water and slept. It was just easier than facing the temptation.

The bright side is that I've already lost 4 lbs! haha

I'm hoping that tomorrow is better (easier) than today was.

Day 2 - afternoon

So, as I expected, I woke up with a GIANT knot in my stomach...again. I'm really hoping this gets easier.

Today giving myself the injection hurt. Apparently I have a bruise already. And I bled a little today. OUCH!

Today is my last day of food freedom. I have no idea what I'm going to eat today. We had pizza for dinner last night, and it wasn't very good. I do have a bag of Peanut Butter M & M's at work that I'm going in to retrieve.

I might even talk my fam into going to dinner at Magleby's Fresh or something. Mmm..... Magleby's. :)

Day 1 - late afternoon

UGH! If I have to eat one more thing today I am going to die!

Of course, I do have to eat more.

I've been trying really hard to eat as much as I can. Mostly the things I think I'll miss.

The sad thing is that I really don't think I'll miss them when they're gone. Like, I bought a peanut butter bar with chocolate frosting from the gas station this morning, and it took me 4 hours to eat it. It's still not gone. I finally gave up and gave it to my 3 y.o. to eat. And the pizza I had for lunch? I had to force myself to eat the whole thing.

I think my brain has already switched on and said "We are doing this NO MATTER WHAT! Don't shove any more of that CRAP in this body!"

I also think my stomach has revolted against me and shrunk. I couldn't eat for most of the month of December because I'd had gum surgery. Then, I was sick so I didn't eat because I couldn't keep anything down.

I am really looking forward to Sunday when I start my 500 calories daily. I already bought some of my food: steaks, chicken breast, Melba toast, and some fruits and veggies.

Is it weird that I'm so excited to be dieting? Isn't dieting something that people dread? I know I usually dread it. Maybe by day 20 I'll be thinking "Can't this be over?" but right now I am so totally excited!!

Day 1 - morning

I woke up this morning with a HUGE knot in my stomach. I don't know why. I was so excited to start yesterday when I signed up for the program.

Today is also a "load" day. That means that I'm supposed to eat as much as I can. Honestly, the thought of putting any food in my mouth right now just makes me want to vomit. I don't know. Maybe it's the knot in my stomach talking.

I laid in bed for about 45 minutes clutching my pillow thinking about plunging the needle into my leg. Even now as I type my heart is starting to beat a little faster, and the knot is getting bigger. My husband offered to sneak attack me with it, but I sent him to work instead. Maybe I should have taken him up on it!

I'm finding myself thinking of excuses why not to inject myself. "Oh, my 3 y.o. needs someone to play with him." "Oh, maybe I should shower first." "Oh, I could always do this first...." I need to just suck it in and stick the needle in my leg.

If only it were that easy.

Okay, I'm going to go grab my supplies. I'll be back in a second.....


.......




.......



...............................................................


Alcohol prep. CHECK
Loaded syringe. CHECK


Okay, just stuck myself in the leg. I honestly phsyically feel relieved that it's over. Like, I know it sounds weird, but I can feel the relief go through my body and the tension leave. The first little stab hurt a little, but the rest of it I couldn't feel. Wow. All that stress over nothing.

The sad thing is, I'll probably feel this same way tomorrow morning.